How can it be that this little man is 10 weeks old? If I close my eyes, it seems like only moments ago that I was in a dark delivery room under a spotlight, meeting my son for the first time. Now look at him…
Yes, the past two months have been tough – rougher than expected – but I feel like I’m finally getting the hang of this mommy business. It takes time! It’s hard! It’s difficult to describe, but the first few weeks of having a newborn, I felt like my head was in a cloud. I was overwhelmed and filled with a lot more self-doubt than I imagined. I am learning so much every day, and really trying to trust my instincts.
I still can’t really say we’re feeling “back to normal,” because we now have a new normal, revolving around the baby’s needs. But there is comfort in routine, and I’m starting to feel it now. I am getting enough sleep, I am (finally) not in pain and I have a really cute, happy and healthy baby. What more could a new mom ask for?
This week I was really starting to feel a difference. I got out on my own for the first time (if you don’t include the day I was in surgery) for a cut and colour with my favourite stylist, Adam Donnelly, who is moving to Toronto.
As I left the house Wednesday morning, I was questioning my motives. Why leave my two-month-old just for a silly haircut? But I’m so glad I did. It was only 2.5 hours, including travel time, and I think I needed reassurance to know Silas would be fine without me for a short while. My worst fear was that he would scream the whole time. But his daddy is a natural and they were absolutely fine. I came home feeling pretty for the first time in a lonnnng while.
Silas and I have also been lucky to enjoy some lovely weather this first week of September. Since I was treading water in July and feeling quite sick through August, I was starting to feel sad that the summer of my maternity leave was gone with little time to enjoy it. But this week we got out for some beautiful long walks – some on our own, and others with friends. We walked to the Pumpkin Patch, about 5 km round-trip, for some fresh, local pears and berries; we met up with another mommy and baby; we walked with Daddy at the Irving Nature Park; and Nanny came by for a walk and some playtime. It’s so heartwarming to see her bond with her grandson.
I see my surgeon on Monday and if he gives me the all-clear, I’m hoping to try heading out for my first run in – what, five months? – in another week or so. I know it’s going to be hard, but I miss running. I really can’t wait.