I was thinking about the Cadbury cream egg, hidden behind chicken breasts in my freezer, all evening. Through the sounds of crying twin babies while I fumbled with bottles like a first-time mom, through the exaggerated whines from my almost four-year-old because his stickers kept ripping, through the bedtime fails, through the piles of dishes and laundry and any other tired mom cliche you could think of.
I wasn’t supposed to eat it, but God, I wanted to. I could almost taste the gooey insides.
So when my kids finally fell asleep that night, I ignored the mess in my home and day-four unwashed hair, and dug out that chocolate egg, wondering if it would be too frozen to eat, or if it should sit out for a few minutes first.
Yes, I did eat the damn egg, and yes, it was delicious. But when you are writing down everything you eat for the sixth week of the Actual Nutrition program, your brain plays tricks with you. Especially after Easter. You wonder how much damage can one innocent little egg do to six weeks of hard work?
“Let’s just pretend that never happened,” the little devil on your shoulder whispers. Kevin will never need to know.
But the thing is, I will know, and that’s worse.
So I wrote it down, hung my head in shame, washed my hair and went to bed.
The kids, and the Easter Bunny, won that round.
“Doing better than you think,” Kevin wrote to me. “Time to evacuate the treat cupboard.”
Clean eating is actually not that hard. Especially when you have a plan, and accountability. And control over the food in your house.
But life includes holidays and social occasions. Shopping trips that run late into babies’ supper times, which means mom eats last, which means mom is ravenous.
That’s when you need all the will power in the world not to fall into old habits and reach for those chocolate eggs, or your husband’s chips, or the Goldfish crackers. This is the hardest part, and this is where I need discipline.
So, Mr. Easter Bunny, you can hop away now and take your chocolate with you. I don’t need you tempting me when I’m weak anymore!
Back to my hard-boiled egg and salsa.