The biggest shock of my life

The night before my first ultrasound for this pregnancy, I was sitting in my rocking chair in the dark, just after putting Silas to bed. It was Mother’s Day, and I was reflecting on the new life growing in my belly. I was about halfway through the pregnancy at 19.5 weeks and had been feeling flutters for about a week and a half. I put my hand on my belly, which had really “popped” in the previous week, and felt so much movement. It was everywhere, from high up on my belly to my pelvic bone. How could this be? The baby was so small. Either this baby can move fast or… could it be? Twins? The thought was terrifying to me, and I quickly put it out of my mind.

The following morning, as we headed out the door for the ultrasound, I mentioned to Mark how I had the strangest feeling there could be twins. “No way,” he said, and we both laughed, as we buckled Silas in his car seat. Because that would be crazy.

Silas and Mark waited outside while the ultrasound tech took measurements of our little baby. We were so excited to find out the sex, and she suggested letting them wait outside before the big reveal. Time ticked by in the dark, quiet room and she moved the wand around my little bulging belly (to me at that point, it looked lopsided, which I thought was kind of funny). I felt very relaxed and let the tech do her thing. At one point she said, “I don’t want you to worry, I am just taking a while to get all the measurements.” I wasn’t worried at all. In fact, I was glad she was taking her time, because I know these ultrasounds are so important to finding any defects as early as possible. My mother’s instinct told me everything was fine.

Finally, she peeked at me over her glasses. “I have something to tell you,” she said, with a little smirk.

I gasped and looked at her eyes. “You do?” And I knew exactly what she was going to say.

“There are two.”

I threw my head back on the pillow and put my hand over my eyes. “Oh my God, oh my God.” I was crying. I could not believe it. She reassured me that everything looked great. But there were definitely two. “Congratulations,” she said. She turned the screen so I could look.

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My mind started racing and all I could think about was: How am I going to do this? Having one newborn is challenging enough – but two?

And, to make life that much more interesting, I had only accepted a new job offer – pregnancy and all – the previous week. Now, I would be going into a new role pregnant with twins. And, returning to work next year as a mother to three young kids. Three children! Something I never once in a million years imagined. HOW AM I GOING TO DO THIS?

These fears raced through my mind. It was combined with amazement and joy, for sure. But the fear was gripping.

The tech went to go get Mark and Silas. I was lying on the bed with tears streaming down my face, and I was smiling. But I must have looked scared.

“Everything is OK I said,” I said, sniffling. “But there are two babies!”

Silas was studying me carefully and stuck close to Mark. He knew mom was a little off her rocker.

I was ready for Mark to turn white and pass out on the ground. But he smiled, looked at the tech for confirmation that I wasn’t joking, and touched my arm. “That’s wonderful news.”

He was so genuine, and it was just what I needed to hear.

It truly was wonderful news. It’s a miracle! And most certainly the biggest shock and surprise we have ever received.

The tech then asked if we wanted to find out the sex. We did, and she showed us. Two boys! We were going to be the parents of three little boys. That made it seem even more real.

Yes, we suddenly had a million things to figure out: Is our house big enough? Do we need a new car? How will this affect my new job? What does this mean for the pregnancy and childbirth? And how in the world do you breastfeed and care for two newborns?

But just a few years after deciding to have children, we suddenly found ourselves a soon-to-be family of five.

Life is crazy, and amazing, and so full of surprises.

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20 weeks pregnant with twins – May 17, 2017

Play dates

Silas, Brynn and Alden
Silas, Brynn and Alden

Just a few months ago, we were carpooling to prenatal yoga classes together. Now, our babies are thriving two- and three-month-olds. 

These little cuties hung out for the first time as a threesome today. Never thought we could have as much fun with a singing bear, a Bumbo chair and Sophie the giraffe

I’m so grateful to know other new moms in Saint John. We can share stories and compare notes on everything from sleep patterns to smiles and coos. It’s also nice to know we all have insecurities and we all get through the tough days one way or another. 

Play dates are awesome – especially for mommies!

I managed to get out for a different kind of play date earlier this week. Feeling more energetic these days, I took up a friend’s offer to workout together outside on Tuesday. 

I was a little timid, unsure how my postpartum body would handle the strain. But I left Silas with his daddy and off I went.

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The workout, planned by my friend Jen, was great. I told her to go easy on me. I think she did, but I’m still feeling it today, so it was just right!

20 seconds of work, 10 seconds of rest x 4 

tricep bench dips, squats, push-ups, plank

With bursts of running in between each exercise. 

Feels good to be back at it. I think I’ll be ready for my first run very soon.